Jack Daniels Fishing Story

My father sent me this email and it was pretty funny.

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake, with two frogs in his mouth

Natalie Gulbis hits sleeping fan.

This is a pretty funny video. Personally I am also a big fan of Natalie Gulbis, she and a couple of the other young stars keeps me watching the LPGA.

Easter Joke.

Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before
St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they
had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big
feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth
and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said,
"So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the
Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with
His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested
him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they
buried Him in a tomb behind a very large
boulder ...

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the
boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more
weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted !

Send them up.

I love this.. I thought some of you would especially appreciate this one.

In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility,
all aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air
Defense Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting
Iranian airspace.

This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving
them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and
destination. I know a guy in Iraq overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It's
too good not to pass along.

The conversation went something like this...
" Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace.
Identify yourself.'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our
airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em
up, I'll wait!'

Air Defense Radar: (no response ... total silence)

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK!

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you:

'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'

6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'

7. Feel better? GOOD!

- Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi.

Tulane study

I got this email from my wife. I hope this wasn't intended to be some kind of a message to me.

A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:

A study conducted by Tulane's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected

Red Neck Santa

Merry Christmas.

Elks in NW Minnesota?

My father sent me this email. Someone took a picture of the big bull elk that wandered in from Canada and is living and eating alfalfa in the field just north of Marvin's plant number 7 there in Warroad and posted it on wiktel.com.

I wonder if we could have the Border Patrol him charged being in the USA illegally because they didn't stop by Customs?

Hunting Humor.

A friend of mine sent me this picture. Kind of reminds me of our goose hunting
experience...

Wedding announcement...

This was a funny email that I got from a friend of mine, it was just too funny to not pass along. I just had to share with everyone. Talk about a wedding dress getting a workout. Yikes, someone is going to lose an eye.

The Peacock and Barack Obama

My father sent me this email but it is pretty close to the truth. MSNBC has been a cheer leader for the Obama campaign. If you think about it is silly but it is a great illustration.

DENVER — With much of the nation sampling TV coverage of the Democratic Convention, things are getting a bit dicey for NBC News. For months, that organization has tilted heavily toward promoting Barack Obama for president, thereby violating traditional journalistic tenets.

According to a recent study by the Media Research Center, NBC News has the most lopsided pro-Obama coverage among national TV news operations. The MRC found that pro-Obama reports outnumber anti-Obama reports by 10 to one on NBC News, an amazing statistic.

With that in mind, let's take a look at how the NBC Nightly News might look sometime very soon.

"Hi, I'm Brian Williams, thank you for joining us tonight. Before we get to our lineup this evening, I should tell you that I am wearing the same kind of suit Senator Obama had on yesterday, and I like it very much. The fabric is soft and has an air of authority. I want to thank the Senator for his good taste.

"Our first story tonight is from Andrea Mitchell, who has learned that Senator Obama is indeed related to Moses. NBC has discovered the wicker basket in which Moses floated down the Nile River before being rescued by the Pharaoh's wife. We can tell you tonight that DNA traces found in that basket match Barack Obama! Incredible.

"Also ahead, NBC News correspondent Lee Cowan is traveling with Senator Obama and reports that he is a really big tipper, and his teeth are perfect.

"Continuing with our election coverage, Chuck Todd will analyze exactly how Michelle Obama came to be so smart. And good looking. By the way, my wife has a dress very similar to the one Mrs. Obama wore on stage in Denver. She likes it a lot.

"After Chuck files his report, Maria Menounos has an exclusive story on how Rev. Wright has undergone a radical transformation. Maria has learned that after going to Lourdes, the Reverend now believes all Americans are really neat people, and is wearing the same kind of American flag pin that Barack Obama wears. Rather than damning America, Wright now believes the Deity likes the country especially because Senator Obama might be President.

"Finally, Tom Brokaw will take a look back at the entire Obama family tree. This is amazing. New evidence suggests that Barack Obama is not only a distant cousin to Dick Cheney, but is also related to General George Patton, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and St. Francis of Assisi. DNA found on a bird in Chicago confirms this.

"As for John McCain, there is a rumor he has been denied AARP membership because he is too old.

"So we have quite a program for you this evening right here on NBC News. Please stay tuned."

John Daly unplugged

Check out some of the latest antics of one of my favorite golfers.
This isn't ussually allowed on any golf course. Wasn't there a song about no shoes, no shirt, no service?

New Diet

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

This is sent to me by a friend of mine, it's the beer diet. If this was true I would be pretty skinny...

Cheaper to drink beer than drive.

Well I figured it would come down to this eventually.