Easter Joke.

Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing before
St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they
had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big
feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth
and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said,
"So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the
Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with
His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested
him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they
buried Him in a tomb behind a very large
boulder ...

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the
boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more
weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted !

Westboro Baptist Church is a hate group

These people from this wacko church are in dire need of a beat down. While I am a Christian (Lutheran) I don't see how these morons can take their religion to this extreme? These are the same vile people that were protesting our hero's funerals.
I would love to have one of these skippys get in my face.

Westboro Baptist Church thanks God for North Dakota’s flooding
By: Ryan Johnson.

The Westboro Baptist Church, whose members tour the country protesting at military funerals because they claim America is tolerant of homosexuality, is thanking God for record flooding in North Dakota.

“God sent the flood waters to cover the evil people of Bismarck and Fargo, ND, where you flipped off God and raised your hands against His anointed by criminalizing WBC’s gospel preaching against” gays and their supporters, declared a statement released Wednesday by the church, which is in Topeka, Kan.

The statement referred to House Bill 1040, a North Dakota state law passed in January 2007 that bars protestors from getting within 300 feet of a funeral. That law was aimed at the Westboro Baptists and its members, who protest because they believe soldiers’ deaths are God’s punishment for America’s support of gays.

Tags: local news, westboro baptists, 2009, floods

Divorce agreement

This was sent to me from my buddy and it makes sense so enjoy.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists , Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You
are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values... You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag..

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like - minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
PPS. Joy wants you to take Alec Baldwin with you too! PLEASE!!!!!!! :-P

Obama is all class

Listen to the prez talk about his bowling. Holy cow if this was a GOPer
he would have been crucified.

Who's spending our money.

Well here we go here are the leading pork getters in the US Senate for their state. Notice North Dakota residents that Byron Dorgan is one of the leaders in the US Senate. Something we can be proud of. Lets see the population of North Dakota is 639,715 that works out to be to be around 57.00 per North Dakota resident. Oh goody.

1) Sen. Robert KKK Byrd, D-W.Va. -- $122,804,900
2) Sen. Richard Shelby, R-Ala. -- $114,484,250
3) Sen. Kit Bond, R-Mo. -- $85,691,491
4) Sen. Dianne Franken Feinstein, D-Calif. -- $76,899,425
5) Sen. Thad Cochran, R-Miss. -- $75,908,475
6) Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska -- $74,000,750
7) Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa -- $66,860,000
8) Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla. -- $53,133,500
9) Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky. -- $51,186,000
10) Sen. Daniel Inouye, D-Hawaii -- $46,380,205
11) Sen. Patty Murray, D-Wash. -- $39,228,250
12) Sen. Byron "Comb Over" Dorgan, D-N.D. -- $36,547,100
13) Sen. Pat Leahy, D-Vt. -- $36,161,125
14) Sen. Dick "Turbin" Durbin, D-Ill. -- $35,577,250
15) Sen. Bob Casey, D-Pa. -- $27,169,750
16) Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nev. -- $26,628,613
17) Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa. -- $25,320,000
18) Sen. Herb Kohl, D-Wis. -- $23,832,000
19) Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y. -- $21,952,250
20) Former Sen. Pete Domenici, R-N.M. -- $19,588,625

This picture sums it up well.

What is up with 24?

24 Going Green PSA - Kiefer Sutherland

These flat earth no growth environmental wackos are every where. Now these left wing loons have infiltrated our television shows as well.

Why can't we have A Leader Like This?

The views of Patriotic Australian Prime Minister: Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks...

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your home, because God is part of our culture.'

All we ask is that you accept our beliefs and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'

Send them up.

I love this.. I thought some of you would especially appreciate this one.

In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility,
all aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air
Defense Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting
Iranian airspace.

This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving
them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and
destination. I know a guy in Iraq overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It's
too good not to pass along.

The conversation went something like this...
" Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace.
Identify yourself.'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our
airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em
up, I'll wait!'

Air Defense Radar: (no response ... total silence)

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK!

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you:

'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'

6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'

7. Feel better? GOOD!

- Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi.